Saturday, May 3, 2008

Lost In Hollywood

So, once again, a television property is taken into the hands of what passes for creativity in Hollywood these days and given the "Superstar" treatment ... this time, via the rapidly slowing down, yet still formidable Will Farrell comedy express.

The awful I-Spy ... the wretched Wild Wild West (minus the "The" in the title of the series) ... the feh-factor of The Avengers. -- craptacular and unwatchable wastes of time that shrived up to a squeaking husk when placed next to the originals, and are best left forgotten.

Next up before the box office executioner is my beloved 1970s childhood friend, Land of the Lost ... which, despite the under budgeted special effects and wince-inducing acting, was never designed as a show "for kids." With science fiction writers like David Gerrold and D.C. Fontana on board, the series was heady stuff with a detailed mythology and logic that crushed the rest of the sci-fi and fantasy live-action tripe hoisted on the Saturday-Morning set (Jason of Star Command, anyone? Ark II?).

Of course, the folks in charge of this movie remake seem to think they are making a comedy. Even the director says, "There is a sense of humor that I loved from the original show ..."

Are we talking about the same series? All our director is recalling are the surface details of a show with no budget shot under the time constrictions of kid-vid. There is no recognition of actually having watched the series. Frankly, smirking at shitty blue-screen work doesn't take a lot of wit.

Land of the Lost wasn't Electra Woman and Dyna Girl, Dr. Shinker or Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, okay? The show was played earnestly and straight ... not campy and stupid. Remaking LOTL as a comedy makes about as much sense has giving us a deadly serious Get Smart (a TV remake that actually looks watchable, since the powers-that-be appear to be adhering to the spirit of the show).

Unfortunately, this is one movie remake that is actually being made ... unlike the never-produced Jim Carrey yuk-fest of The Six Million Dollar Man (shudders). And, since we don't want Will Ferrell as a daddy, we get him hamming it up with a stand-up comedian and a hot babe instead of a son and daughter.

Jesus God. Didn't Bewitched teach Ferrell anything?
Still, they got one thing right ... check out the Sleestak!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Welcome To The Grid

Has your Internet been running slow as of recent ...? Click the graphic to learn about what might speed things along in the near future.

(Somehow, I sense my future is going to be spent buying new computer equipment and paying higher prices for faster connections ...).