Pop Culture Debris

Bat-Flat!

2011-03-14T11:46:00.000-07:00

From a long sold out t-shirt design at Threadless.com.

Plastic Surgery With Criswell!

2011-03-05T19:14:00.000-08:00

Second in a series of selected future visions from legendary psychic Criswell, star of several Ed Wood Jr. movies. As always, this one comes from from his eerie 1968 book of predictions.

Facelifting

I PREDICT that by 1980 you will be able to lift your own face in your own home for only $5.00. A new chemical will be developed in our Veterans Hospital for battle scar tissue will soon be available to the public. You will buy it by the jar, put in on your face and in three days time look half your age.

Model Home

2011-02-19T11:03:00.000-08:00

So ... I read Eric Puchner's Model Home in a rush of two days this week (an impressive rate with my schedule these days) and I have to say, it was beautifully written and touched me in ways that are still resonating. I know I saw many elements of my own marriage reflected in the prose, and suspect you will as well if you take my advice and read this frequently laugh-out-loud funny novel. I guess that is why it affected me as much as it did. I kept hoping for a "happy" ending for the Ziller family, but none was forthcoming ... which, I suspect, is realistic and made the novel sing so truly.

The first half (Summer 1985 - the year I graduated from high school) was truly amusingly bittersweet and still gave the reader a sense of everything working out for this collection of characters. The second half (Summer 1986) dashed that sense into microscopic pieces, but I can't say I was angry, or upset ... for no matter how painful life is, we keep moving homeward towards an unknown destination.

I had a similar sense of resignated loss at the end of the Coen Brothers' film A Serious Man ... which, if you haven't seen, you should ... especially if you read Puchner's very human novel, which I wholeheartedly recommend.

Educational Musing #1

2011-01-25T11:34:00.000-08:00

At times, successful teaching is nothing but a series of happy accidents.

Case in point: I’m closing the books on the final grades of the semester, and reviewing one of the last assignments I gave my American Literature classes: Compare Jay Gatsby from the novel The Great Gatsby to the star of Edwin Arlington Robinson’s poem “Richard Cory.”

Almost every essay I’ve read about the two men has made some excellent connections between the two doomed protagonists, and presented keen insights into what made Gatsby tick, as well as what might have caused Cory to go home one calm summer night and “put a bullet through his head.” So, I know this exercise in examining the two characters has proven fruitful. I have the evidence in my hand via their writing.

I’m actually getting that warm “successful teacher” buzz just writing about the experience. Was this masterful classroom planning on my part? Perhaps. Being familiar with your curriculum is vital, yes … but even though I’ve taught “Richard Cory” before, I’ve never made the connection to Gatsby. This time, through a happy accident, the spot in the textbook where “Cory” lies fell open during the same time we were reading Gatsby. Re-reading the poem, I made the connection, and in turn, revised the daily lesson plan to see what the students would have to say.

So, a day in the classroom proved to be magnificent thanks to random chance, and while I’m feeling good about myself in presenting the poem when I did, I’m feeling ten times better about the kids.

They "got it," and that makes all the difference.

Night of the Living Dead

2011-01-20T06:07:00.000-08:00

So, I'm at the gym on the exercise cycle and glance up at the bank of television screens mounted above me, and witness on one set the withered faces of Bob "Bob" Newhart (81 years old) exchanging dialogue with David "Illya / Ducky" McCallum (76 years old) in an episode of NCIS. On the adjoining screen was a new commercial with Bob "Showcase Showdown" Barker (87 years old) plugging State Farm Insurance - complete with iconic microphone in hand.

I watched their silent faces, secretly pleased to see a trio of familiar friends, and wondered who else in the room might share my private delight. An array of younger, harder bodies were oblivious.

I reflected on my own rapidly aging and saggy status, and pedaled my exercise bike even harder.

Elvis Has Left The Bindery

2011-01-11T09:26:00.000-08:00

I grew up with Elvis by my side, thanks to my mother's devotion to the man from Memphis. She bequeathed to me her love of all things Presley. Even to this day, I can still sit through and equally enjoy sublime material such as the '68 Comeback Special or utter dreck ala 'Clambake,' and find myself transformed to the hideous orange shag carpeting that adorned the floor of our living room on Badgett Avenue.

When asked by my editors at Captone to write a graphic novel biography of the King, I didn't hesitate to accept the assignment.

Click the book cover above to learn more.

In The Not Too Distant Future

2011-01-09T13:00:00.000-08:00

And now it's time for another exciting installment of ANCIENT BLOG THEATRE!

When last we peeked at the embryonic first version of the Pop Culture Debris blog (which vanished into the ether years ago thanks to the demise of hosting site Bloki), I was still sifting previous entries for re-posting.

I think I've found a good 'un dating back to August 21, 2003. My original introductory text is below.

Click the Chick Tract to enjoy!

Frequently hilarious MST3K fan piece, in which Crow, Tom and Mike are forced to view a Jack T. Chick comic. Some laugh out loud funny lines. I still think a MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 comic book is a viable idea (and as I recall, I discussed doing one with collaborator Bill Neville years ago ...). Link comes courtesy of Bill Sherman's Pop Culture Gadabout blog.

A Reboot That Works

2011-01-08T16:47:00.001-08:00

While the first season of Fox's Human Target had an amazing pilot, later episodes ran the gamut from "damn good cup of coffee" to "eh, is this all you got?" More often than not, they fell under the latter, with the primary reason to watch at all being Jackie Earle Haley's deadpan portrayal as the man of mystery with only one name: Guerrero.

However, the second season reboot - which added two new female cast members, more reliance on pop music in the weekly scores, and a international espionage spy hook - is overall a better show. Mark Valley has settled into the role as the wry Christopher Chance and now wears it with a mix of humor and "tormented hero with a dark past" that is very engaging. Chi McBride's Winston huffs and puffs, but peeks into his quirky private life have helped to humanize the character. Count me in as pleasantly surprised (although the "Guerrero as master torturer jokes" have outworn their welcome).

Of course, for the past two weeks, Fox has been running double episodes on Wednesday nights back to back, which is never a good sign (especially since the show has only a 13 episode order). This usually is a sign of burning off a series, and that has me worried about a third season.

In other words, watch it now ... while you still can.

Criswell Predicts: North Carolina

2009-12-26T06:34:00.000-08:00

First in a series of selected future visions from legendary psychic Criswell, star of several Ed Wood Jr. movies (as taken from his 1968 book of predictions).

North Carolina

I predict that North Carolina will face economic growth in the 1970s with the development of artifical tobacco that is completely harmless. This will be developed in North Carolina. But that state will, while enjoying economic growth, be subjected to racial violence and natural disasters. Many towns, large and small, will be the scenes of violence in 1969 and 1970. And the shifting coastline of the 1980s will destroy many coastal towns.

Christmas Memories from the 1970's

2009-12-25T12:57:00.000-08:00

Sleepless nights and early mornings. Hideous orange and red shag carpeting. A haze of cigarette smoke from my father. Santa's inability to assemble both of my bicycles correctly (in a span of six years apart, his mechanical skills never improved). Plaid furniture – plaid pants. My baby sister when she truly was my “baby” sister. Odd visits from unnamed and unseen relatives (except in December).

*****

Side note - best non-Santa gift ever? The Mego Mobile Bat-Lab from my Uncle Carl. Half-watching the Christmas Day Parade on television while playing in the living room floor. Fifty dollars worth of yearly Santa swag made flesh by way of the Sears Wish Book and our sole retail credit card.

*****

Posed photographs in which my parents become smaller in stature and height, while my sister and I both sadly, inexorably, outgrow the magic of Christmas.

Five A.M. Observations About Oz

2009-12-21T01:50:00.001-08:00

So, if water melts a Wicked Witch, how does she take a bath?

I know from Frank Zappa that ships (as a rule) arrive too late to save drowning witches, but it matters not if they dissolve when placed in water. Salt water must really do a number on a witch's skin. All that remains is the pointy hat, and that alone is hardly worthy of rescue.

Or does she even bathe? And if not, is that why her skin is green?

Or was she belted by gamma rays?

Or does she just reek to high heaven?

And ... could you even smell her in a castle filled with flying monkeys? After all, only the Great and Powerful Oz himself knows where the turrets and castle corners are that might contain fistfuls of flung simian poo.

Margaret Hamilton, our lonely nation turns its eyes to you.

400?!

2009-12-19T07:18:00.000-08:00

According to WXII TV 12, as well as Johnny Shelton, head of the local EMS, in the last 24 hours of torrential snowfall, there have been over FOUR HUNDRED ACCIDENTS in Surry County, NC!

Surely this must be some sort of collision record in these here parts (clumsy grammar added on purpose).

Now, I'm all for getting out of the house when cabin fever descends like a wet parachute over the inside of the living room, but even coma victims knew to play as inanimate objects and stay put last night.

Over 400 accidents (shakes head). Well, I suppose the body shops can use the extra business as we quickly rustle though the last weeks of the holiday season.

Merry Christmas, Mr. Tow Truck Man!

Kung Fu Requiem

2009-06-07T15:06:00.000-07:00

Ashley Holt not only crafted the wonderful tribute artwork above, but writes about the death of David Carradine in a note perfect mix of childhood nostalgia, social commentary, and wry observation.

Who Knew Conan O'Brien Was In Such Great Shape?

2009-06-06T15:28:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I'm easily amused, but I think this cross-country opening of Conan's taking over the command chair at NBC's The Tonight Show is nothing short of brilliant. The monologue that followed ... er, not so much, but I've never thought of him as a "joke teller" so much as a humorous conceptualist anyway. I've read reviews that griped about the numerous sketches during this first week of shows, but the critics seem to be missing the point. Of course the show is going to have a different feel with a new host, and like or loathe Leno, his filmed pieces usually fell flat (or celebrated the woeful ignorance of the American public). Even if Conan stumbles from time to time, credit his writing and production staff with being as experimental as possible in a new time slot with a potentially new (and larger) audience.

TV GUIDE: July 2, 1977

2009-06-04T18:35:00.000-07:00

Borrowing (stealing) a page from Al Bigley's recent TV GUIDE-oriented blog posts, I dug out a vintage issue I had in the stack o' reading material for review. Nothing particularly special about this issue, at least on the surface - and what a ghastly surface to behold! Enjoy the awkward, yet strangely fascinating cover shown above featuring the stars of Alice! I picked it up at the flea market along with a handful of other issues for twenty-five cents a pop (not a bad price for instant nostalgia).

Here's three quick tidbits from inside this issue:

"Gaining nary a gray hair in the process, Wonder Woman will leap forward from World War II to 1977 merely by entering a disco time machine and ... sorry ... merely by switching the series from ABC to CBS next season. LYNDA CARTER as Wonder Woman will still assist an intelligence agent played by LYLE WAGGONER, but how does he stay young? Simple. He's now the son of the man Wonder Woman worked for 30 years ago."

First thought: Ewww. Second thought: This is the season where a so-called "cute" robot named Ira (?) was added to the cast. Final though: Shades of the Captain America/Peggy Carter/Sharon Carter love triangle, and if you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, you're probably reading the wrong blog ....

"New Version of Star Trek is On Launching Pad. Paramount Pictures is planning to produce 22 episodes of an all-new Star Trek to begin appearing in April 1978. It is part of an effort to create one night a week of prime-time programs on a proposed "fourth network' of independent and network-affiliated stations. Paramount has signed Gene Roddenberry, the original producer, to put together the new show at a cost of $400,000 an episode. Will Trekkie heroes from the original series be back? That hasn't been decided yet."

In other words, Shatner's in - he's tired of doing dinner theatre, but Nimoy's trying to get a piece of the action from the Trek-licensing machine at this particular junction of his career.

And lastly ...

"Paul Michael Glaser has returned to his role as Starsky in ABC's Starsky and Hutch. A lawsuit was in progress and two days of testimony had been taken when an agreement was reached between Glaser and the producers. In the settlement, the actor, who made $10,000 an episode last year and was to earn $12,500 for 1977-78, will get a raise and some directing assignments. His new salary is said to be $25,000 per show."

Shh! Settle down Glaser - do you want to give Nimoy ideas?

Seriously, do you?

Jaw-droppingly awful cover artwork copied from the good folks at http://www.coverbrowser.com/ ... lots of great magazine artwork (not including this example) to be found here!

Good!

2009-06-02T09:03:00.000-07:00

Instruments of Enlightenment

2009-05-23T18:30:00.000-07:00

For every op-ed piece such as this one as reported in The Nation, I find solace in the independent publishers who beat back against the tide, including Winston Salem's own Press 53 (which I highly recommend you click over and check out this very moment).

Still, having been a professional working writer for - my god - twenty years this June, I've lived through so many permutations to smash into the venues in which I've toiled (newspapers, comics, children's stories, paperback originals, coloring and activity books, newsletters, etc. ) that the one constant I can attest to when it comes to publishing is this:

For all of the constant visual and aural noise we are consumed by daily, the written word will always have value, and books will always have the power to move the mind, body and soul.

If the delivery method changes, then so be it - but I'm going on record now to say the sheer tactile pleasure of the printed word vastly outweighs the electronic screen. If that makes me a book snob, so be it - lord knows as a collector I do so love to cling to physical objects (he says without a shred of intentional irony).

Okay, enough literary musings ... next entry will be more whimsical (I promise)!

Walt Disney's War of the Worlds (In Color)

2009-05-08T13:16:00.000-07:00

Books Are No Passing Fad

2009-05-06T06:42:00.000-07:00

Against all odds, a new bookstore opens with an amazing back story (and back list). Click the above photograph to learn more!

Pending Birthday Gift Suggestion #1

2009-04-27T12:22:00.001-07:00

Burning Down The House ...

2009-04-26T13:50:00.000-07:00

... literally.

Thursday morning, approximately 3 a.m., I'm awakened by my dog barking, and in turn, a pummeling at the back door to warn me of potentially terrible news.

I staggered out to a warning of "Fire," that most dreaded of words. The abandoned house next door was in full orange bloom. I watched in slack fascination for a short time, than ran for the digital camera. The first of the photos shown above was taken through the dining room window (which is why you see the glare of the flash reflected back), before I stepped out into the side yard to feel the heat on my face, and peer into the unreal inferno.

The fire department arrived as I was stepping outside, and put the fire (which a mere sixty seconds before, seemed unstoppable in all of its horrible glory) down and out within minutes. Long story short -- no one was injured, my own house is fine and this tale is apparently of such little interest locally that the blaze didn't even make the local newspapers.

Still, I'll never forget experiencing such a dangerous vision so close to home.

"Rare" Convention Appearance

2009-04-18T12:56:00.000-07:00

I rarely attend conventions these days, but Chris Garbee of Untamed Worlds coaxed me out of con-retirement for the Roanoke Valley Comicon ... a one-day show in Salem, Virginia on Saturday, April 25th. I'll be there to hawk (er, sign) books and comics I've written, which range from recent Dreamworks hits Kung Fu Panda, Madagascar 2 and Monsters Vs. Aliens to earlier works such as Elfquest, Jimmy Neutron, E.T., The Ren & Stimpy Show and Explorers.

Hours are from 10 AM until 4 PM. Admission is $5.00 each and children 10 and under are free with a paid adult. The show has moved to a new location at the Salem Civic Center, offering a large con space (over 5000 square feet) with almost 50 dealers.

In addition to me, other luminaries include Andy Smith, Budd Root, Kevin Sharpe, Louis Small Jr and Matt Slay.

There will be an an art contest at this show. Paid admission is all that is required to enter the art contest (and a piece of your original art work, of course). There will also be free comics for the first 100 people through the door and hourly door prizes. The Salem Civic Center offers plenty of free parking, and, if you don't bring enough cash, there is an ATM on site.

Take Exit 141 of I-81 and follow the signs to the Salem Civic Center. And if you show up at my table and say "Pop Culture Debris sent me," I'll give you a free comic!

Why Neutral eBay Feedback Sucks

2009-04-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

So, another week goes by - another one of the scant few Andy Griffith biographies I have left sells on eBay.

The feedback I receive to go with my 100% positive feedback record?

"So no one else is disappointed:Bk has no Photos+Andy didn't sign-his writer did."

Of course, this is neutral feedback and not a negative, but it still stings. I have no way of responding on eBay in public, so I was going to email the buyer ... and then decided I didn't want to get into a war of the emails with an unarmed opponent.

That being said, here is my unsent reply, and why I think so-called "neutral" eBay feedback sucks:

Dear Disappointed,

Out of over 200 other purchases of this same book on eBay, no one else has been disappointed. I never have understood why, if someone isn't pleased with a item, why they can't be bothered to let the seller know. The book's description plainly says signed by the author. It lists no photos in the book and instead gives the name of Bill Neville, the illustrator.

Instead of leaving neutral feedback a simple request for a refund would have appreciated, and gladly given if not satisfied. Instead, to demonstrate your so-called cleverness, you have to leave a snide remark "warning" the world.

Somehow, I imagine you are the same kind of dimwit who leaves negative remarks about authors on the Amazon site in the Book Review section when you are upset over slow shipping or condition (both of which, let me add, since I know you don't bother to read descriptions, are things writers have absolutely no control over - those complaints should be directed at the seller).

Also, if you had an iota of savvy, you would know that a true Andy Griffith autograph isn't going to be selling on eBay for $14.99 in the first place. Griffith rarely signs anything, one of a multitude of facts to be learned in the disappointing book you purchased.

Sincerely yours,

Andy Griffith's Writer

There. Venting complete.

Dying Is An Art, Like Everything Else ...

2009-03-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me well enough to have read my poetry knows of the high regard in which I hold Sylvia Plath.

Ergo, a photo swiped from The New York Times website, along with an embedded link therein in which several luminaries debate "Why The Plath Legacy Lives."

Which is actually a rather painfully ironic title in light of Plath's death, as well as the recent passing of her son. A purposeful one? One hopes not.

Stories & Links of Interest

2009-03-19T15:46:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of ShelfTalker: A Children's Bookseller's Blog comes a photo list of "The Most Interesting Bookstores in the World!"

The New York Times takes note of the sudden interest in the chair that cushioned William Shatner's ass for three years (don't miss the piece of trivia from Shat stand-in Eddie Paskey that closes the article).

Apparently, I Have A Fan ....

2009-03-12T18:53:00.000-07:00

The Many Humiliations of Illya Kuryakin Part 2

2009-02-14T10:19:00.000-08:00

Poor Illya K! We all know that kinky torture sessions are as common as brushing your teeth when you are a licensed agent of U.N.C.L.E., but even my hardened eyes are shocked at this sight! Illya clones or evil twins? Napoleon Solo on the dark side! Barbie with bunny ears? What fresh hell has our long-suffering hero landed in the midst of THIS time?

A Muppet's Tale

2009-02-12T12:06:00.000-08:00

While screening the film A Knight's Tale today as part of a unit on Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales, I was suddenly struck with who the character Wot (played by Serenity's Alan Tudyk) kept reminding me of ... so, for your viewing pleasure, I give you the lastest separated at birth candidates:

Wot

Beaker

Bonus Thurday Muppet content ... Mental Floss recently contributed a fun "Secrets of the Muppets" piece to the CNN website. I did remember Oscar the Grouch as being orange in his first appearances, but never knew Miss Piggy was from Iowa. I guess what enlightened minds say is true ... we do learn something new every day.

Star Wars Retold!

2009-02-04T07:29:00.000-08:00

The Grand Comic Book Database Project

2009-02-01T15:38:00.000-08:00

For friends and readers into comics, you can easily spend an afternoon enjoying The Grand Comic Book Database Project. I found a lengthy list of my own comic book writing credits (by no means complete, but an excellent start) ... even one or two I had forgotten about! Click the cover above to check out my incomplete resume!

Beatles NOT For Sale

2009-01-24T12:31:00.000-08:00

Click the cover artwork to learn more ....

Political Cartoon of the Day / Month / Year?

2009-01-20T12:45:00.000-08:00

Mike Luckovich of The Atlanta Journal-Constitution hits the mark of timeliness with verve and humor. The only Obama Inauguration cartoon to make me laugh out loud!

The Future of Publishing

2009-01-13T17:39:00.001-08:00

Some common sense ways to (hopefully) bring both readers and books into the technological age....

The Art of the Title

2009-01-11T12:24:00.001-08:00

Discovered while researching Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird, this is my favorite new web destination. However, Mockingbird is only the beginning. A plethora of opening title sequences to a vast array of both television shows and films are analyzed here (from Deadwood to 300 to The Incredibles to Repo Man), along with the ability to play the credits sequences directly from the site!

Truly a place on the web in which one can become lost and spend hours.

Don't say I didn't warn you ....

The Best Television of 2008 Part 1

2008-12-22T19:44:00.000-08:00

This will be a reoccurring series of posts as I recall what I caught on the TV Eye this past year that moved me, inspired me, and made an impact that still hums loudly and truthfully in my mind. In no particular order:

Lost: "The Constant." Originally aired February 28, 2008. Time travel is a central theme of this series, but never has it been used to ramp up the emotional stakes as seen in this episode (which was indeed award-worthy for both an intricate script by Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindel and lead performance by Henry Ian Cusick). I won't bother to give a synopsis here, since Lost fandom has already obsessively done so at this link. I will say that anyone who caught this episode remembers it vividly as a high water mark of the fourth season that mixes suspense, romance and mind-bending temporal theory.

Mad Men: "The Wheel." Originally aired October 18, 2007. Okay, I know this technically isn't a 2008 show, but later in 2008 is when I first saw it and was moved to tears. I'm not sure watching the 13th episode season finale would work out of context, but I caught Season One in rapid order thanks to the magic of the Tivo and it totally floored me for a sequence that was heart-wrenching. Advertising executive Don Draper mines his own family photo album and un-admitted (until this moment) internal fears to pitch Kodak on how to sell their then-new slide projector. The Kodak crew have been calling the device "the wheel," until Don renames it accordingly.

As Jon Hamm as Draper delivers the monologue reproduced below, he clicks from slide to slide to accent his selling points ... tracking his life backwards as he (and we - the viewers) realizes that perhaps he does indeed love his wife, his children, and this life he has created for himself, and quite possibly has lost them forever. The editing is simple, the pictures used grainy and fully carrying that captured in the moment "family photo" look, and the musical underscore here is devastatingly sad.

One of several Mad Men scripts nominated this year for an Emmy award (the winner was the Mad Men pilot, which was also brilliant and again makes me think that the season finale has the greater emotional resonance only if watched in the proper order at the end of show - frankly, if Mad Men has not seen a second season, this would have worked as a series finale as well), this was simply put unforgettable ... with an ending that was equally so in terms of placing Draper in a life that he had (once again) created for himself.

DON: “Technology is a glittering lure, but there's the rare occasion that the public can be engaged at a level beyond flash, that they have a sentimental bond with the product. My first job, I was in-house at a fur company with this old pro copywriter, a Greek named Teddy, and Teddy told me the most important idea in advertising is 'new.' Creates an itch — you simply put your product in there as a kind of calamine lotion. But he also talked about a deeper bond with the product — nostalgia. It's delicate but potent … Teddy told me that in Greek, nostalgia literally means 'the pain from an old wound.' It's a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn't a spaceship. It's a time machine. Goes backward, forward, takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It's not called 'the wheel' — it's called 'the carousel.' It lets us travel the way a child travels, around and around and back home again, to a place where we know we are loved."

Atari 2600 Cartridges Forever

2008-12-09T20:09:00.000-08:00

IGN is reporting that The Venture Bros. Season Three DVD set will be arriving sometime in the upcoming New Year. While this year's 13 episodes were a mixed bag (High Points: "The Buddy System," "What Goes Down, Must Go Up," and "Now Museum, Now You Don't" - Low Points: "Dr. Quymn, Medicine Woman," and "Tears of a Sea Cow"), only a series as twisted as this would have a season premiere that focused exclusively on the fates of the arch-villain and his hot wife without nary a sighting of Hank or Dean, the so-called "heroes" of the show. Oh, and you simply have to love the retro packaging ... "Yar's Revenge," anyone?

Lots ... Big Lots

2008-12-02T18:41:00.001-08:00

Just an F.Y.I to fellow James Bond aficionados who don't fancy paying $$$ for their Bond DVDs ... the Big Lots retail chain is currently selling the ENTIRE series from Dr. No through Die Another Day (basically, every Bond film until Daniel's Craig's debut in Casino Royale) for a mere $4.00 each. Sure, these aren't Blu-Ray discs, nor the recent 2-disc sets with yet even more fine-tuning in the way of remastered picture and sound, but since the majority of the Bonds I already owned came from these initial "Special Edition" releases from MGM, my collection is now complete for under $20.00.

Frankly, Octopussy isn't even worth the $4.00 I just paid (see this previous entry of Bond as a literal Clown ... this after he swings from a jungle vine and gives a Tarzan yell and NO I AM NOT MAKING THAT LAST PART UP). Oh, and an extra "shout out" to the hacks within the MGM art department for the ghastly photoshopped cover. Nothing says license to kill like a ghoulish Roger Moore standing before a hellish landscape of fire, a helicopter, and some turrets. The original movie poster would have been a vastly superior choice. Both are shown below for your viewing pleasure.

Mascots Amuse Me

2008-12-02T17:59:00.001-08:00

Okay, I'll admit it - I have a love of massively-headed anthropomorphic mascots. I'm not so much as interested in ones from the sports world as I am the ones who roam theme parks such as Walt Disney World, Carowinds, King's Dominion, Six Flags, and so on ... but until then, this slide show of "Mascots Gone Wild" (sorry - none of them go topless or bottomless, darn the luck) will have to suffice. Thanks to the corporate overlords over at MSN.com for the swiped photo link below.

Sneaking In The Back Door?

2008-11-25T08:19:00.000-08:00

As a writer of licensed property tie-in projects both famous (most recently Kung Fu Panda and Madagascar: Back 2 Africa), and obscure, I find the tone and quotes in this article insulting (please click the link and go read before continuing to enjoy my rant).

"Sneaked in the back door of publishing as a writer-for-hire," is how Judy Blundell categorized her career as an author before the publication of her first non-licensed novel. I'm not disputing the merit of the book (after all, it did win the National Book Award for Young People's Literature), but apparently she doesn't look upon the 100 or so books written up to this point favorably, choosing to use a pseudonym instead of her own name to sign the work.

I imagine doing so has hurt me at times, but I've always used my real name on projects. The only time a pseudonym has been on the cover of something I've written is due to the publisher (as in the case of the Deathlands novels I wrote under the house name of "James Axler"). I do agree with Blundell about "losing your writer's voice" by continually toiling in the creative houses of licensed properties, but I hardly see shame in the work done there either. Good work is good work, and should be recognized as such.

Six Degrees of Ron Howard's Hairpiece

2008-11-02T11:14:00.000-08:00

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

The Many Humiliations of Illya Kuryakin Part 1

2008-11-02T10:40:00.001-08:00

... See the glum expression being worn by our pal Illya in the cover photo? Perhaps he is sad at having his head confined in a tiny box, while fellow agent Napoleon Solo gets the full body glory shot, but I think it is because he read the script for this issue and wonders what fresh indignities will be thrust upon him next within the U.N.C.L.E. organization.

Don't feel bad, Illya. James Bond also has clown make-up on his resume (although I think you remain the only member of the 1960's spy fraternity to be shot out of a cannon). As witnessed in both story and cover blurb of Gold Key's The Man From U.N.C.L.E. #13.

He's A Rock - It - Man!

2008-10-23T17:22:00.000-07:00

Most lovers of hammy actors who also like to sing (but should never have gone near a recording studio) have heard or seen Big Bill Shatner's take on Elton John's Rocket Man, right? A combination of low-tech video special effects and a disintegrating tuxedo - who needs a malfunctioning transporter to deliver multiple Shatners?

But ... have you seen TV cult fave Chris Eliott's take on the tune (and the performance)? Chris answers the question "Can a parody of a performance that was already a parody the moment it aired still be funny?" with a resounding, "Affirmative!"

And finally, here's Stewie Griffin's attempt to out-Shatner Shatner. Talk about in-jokes most teenagers wouldn't get (which does dispel the notion that Family Guy is aimed exclusively at adolescent males). Same goes for all of those musical comedy gags and references as well!

Reason Number 288 ...

2008-10-19T14:58:00.001-07:00

...why William Shatner will always be my all-time favorite actor.

Meeting John Waters

2008-10-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

Taken September 21, 2006 at the Carolina Theatre in Greensboro, North Carolina. JW looks dapper (as always) after spending two solid hours discussing his life, career, films and other topics of interest on stage. Waters once had actor Steve Buscemi pose for his annual Christmas Card mailing as "John Waters," but I think a receding hairline that has revealed an incredibly elongated forehead puts him more into looking like a sinister Don Knotts. He also looks oh so tiny next to the lumbering mass o' moi in this photo. If I look worse for wear, it is because I had taught a middle school English class all day before making the drive into downtown G'boro for the event. Not caught by the camera is my freshly signed first edition of Waters' book of essays, Shock Value, which I discovered eons ago at a used bookstore near Mims, Florida. My love of Waters isn't driven by his legendary film career, but rather from his writing (go figure) ... an oddity that I equate with my love of the music of The Monkees, but indifference to the television show. I think both have to do with how I discovered both Waters and Papa Nez, Davy, Peter and Micky - Waters via his first book (before seeing any of the movies), and the pre-fab four via their albums (after having dismissed the series as a kid).

Trek Talk

2008-10-18T18:39:00.000-07:00

Decent enough interview with the screenplay writers for the new Trek movie, although the interviewer comes across as a total gibbering schmuck (which is typical these days with web-based interviews, I'm sorry to say). Still, sounds like Kurtzman and Orci did their homework, and one of them is actually a hardcore Star Trek fan to boot. I have high hopes for the storyline, since this is the same team who wrote some of the best episodes of Alias (another one of my past television passions).

Cute Canine Alert!

2008-10-18T10:45:00.000-07:00

This is Sophie, a recent Surry Animal Rescue girl who has the most adorable eyebrows on a dog I have ever seen. She is blessed with two tan Andy Rooney-like tufts that gives her upper forehead and humble eyes an amazing depth of expression. She's sweet, gentle and has a peaceful soul ... and I think I'm in love. Too bad she's already been promised to my sister-in-law, and will soon be traveling up North to live in Massachusetts. Here's hoping I can negotiate for visitation rights....

Cool Books You Won't Find At Wal-Mart #2

2008-10-16T16:48:00.000-07:00

Age of TV Heroes

The Live-Action Adventures of

Your Favorite Comic Book Characters

by Jason Hofius and George Khoury

Actually, as of this writing, you can't find this book ANYWHERE (the release date isn't until December 17, 2008), but check out that line-up on the cover! George Reeves, Adam West, Lynda Carter and Jackson Bostwick in their super-hero guises that inspired comic book fans throughout the 1950s to the present day as painted by Alex Ross.

Inside are interviews with the actors, producers, writers and creators who translated both Marvel and DC heroes alike into living icons for lovers of adventure and fantasy. Thrill to the memories of Nick Hammond (a.k.a. Spider-Man), John Wesley Shipp (The Flash) and even the current voice of Brock Samson himself, Patrick Warburton (or, as he was in his live-action incarnation, The Tick)!

A friend recently asked me if I ever get excited about anything these days ... well, here's something exciting, and we're all going to have to wait until Christmas to open our present!

Oddest MSN Banner Ever

2008-10-12T19:53:00.000-07:00

This one speaks for itself. Trust me when I say it is the real deal straight to you from the MSN.com homepage, and has been unaltered by yours truly in any form or fashion. I suppose clicking it took you to some strange health article, but I'm still trying to figure out the juxtaposition with the male enlarged breasts "bonus" feature.

Why Steranko Still Matters

2008-10-09T19:32:00.000-07:00

Click the classic cover and enjoy the homages!

Stuff About Poe ...

2008-10-05T18:19:00.000-07:00

... as written in a "round robin biographical recall" by my 11th graders:

Poe had a very bad childhood.

He was cursed.

His real mother & wife died at the age of 24.

His step-father didn't like him.

His last name was Poe.

Poe was 40 years old when he died.

He wrote short stories.

Poe lived in Richmond, VA.

He's dead.

His middle name of Allan was not used until after his death.

He wrote "The Raven."

Poe was most famous for his horror stories.

Poe's horrible life was the reason for the horror stories.

He was weird.

Poe's mother and wife died of TB.

He joined the military.

Hooked up with his 13-year-old cousin.

He had a weird looking mustache.

Poe could not hold his booze.

He liked writing better than I did.

What Are You Currently Reading?

2008-10-04T09:47:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know Banned Books Week ends today ... all the more important to keep awareness of it alive for the other 51 weeks of the year.

So, with that in mind ... go here to get the basics.

Then, read a column about how "lucky" we are in this part of North Carolina not to have major issues with book banners and their ilk (ah, apathy ...).

For a good chuckle, enjoy the list of books that then-Mayor Sarah Palin supposedly wanted banned from the Wasilla Public Library (the laugh comes from imagining Palin actually reading even a tenth of these books that made the fake hit list).

And finally, in honor of Banned Books Week, here' s a quick quiz.

Toons In 3-Dimensions

2008-09-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

Check out this amazing flickr set of View-Master slides courtesy of Matt Hinrichs ... quite simply put, these are some of the most beautiful sculptures of animated images you'll ever see.

Hey, I Wrote That!

2008-09-29T17:51:00.000-07:00

Meant to post this at the first of the month instead of the end, but here's the latest book to appear with my byline, as well as my first title from the fine folks at Capstone Press.

Available in both a hardcover "library binding" and a softcover edition for those of us on a budget. Of course, if one believes what one reads on amazon.com, they are both the same price. Yes, the listings for both versions of The FBI (Cartoon Nation) are riddled with errors such as having the wrong product description, two authors instead of one (Terry and Collins), incorrect creator bios and a listed page count of 2,660 (instead of the correct 32)!

I sent amazon a list of corrections just a few moments ago, but have my doubts how long they will take to appear. Click the book cover if you're curious to see for yourself! ADDENDUM: In less than 24 hours, amazon.com did correct the author's name, but the rest of the errors still stand. Stay tuned for further details (although I must confess to feeling positively like Thomas Pynchon at the thought of crafting a 2,660 page book on the FBI - and a book for young readers at that)!

A Ride Home

2008-09-27T07:40:00.000-07:00

"When I stepped out into the bright sunlight of the dark movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman, and a ride home."

After teaching the novel The Outsiders for two years, 150 students, and eight middle school classes, I was always saddened when the kids in my charge had no idea who Paul Newman was ... I might well have been talking about obscure stage actors of the 1800's as opposed to an iconic, and, until recently, still active screen presence of the last fifty years. Cultural awareness of this latest generation is a sad state of affairs - which is even more surprising when one considers that teens today have access to more information than any generation before them, and yet seem more blissfully unaware of anything going back further than five years.

So when reading of Newman's death today, I wondered if any of the middle school kids I taught who are now in freshmen and sophomores in high school might have taken pause to remember Ponyboy's opening (and closing) lines from S.E. Hinton's book.

Perhaps. When bringing the middle schoolers up to speed with a list of movies such as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Cool Hand Luke, and The Sting that got me blank stares in return, the only one that ever clicked for them was, ironically, Newman's voice work as Doc Hudson in Cars.

From what I know of Newman, I think he would have liked that....

Found Footage Festival 2008 Preview!

2008-09-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me, also knows I love awkward local cable access singing and dancing performances when mashed together with equally surreal corporate training videos.

Sound bizarre? Oh, absolutely. But for now, let this preview (complete with wrestlers!) whet your appetite for the simple insanity of the Found Footage Festival (2008 edition).

Sammy Sings Seltzer Songs!

2008-09-15T18:26:00.000-07:00

By this time in the Candy Man's illustrious career, he was singing anything and everything to maintain his lavish cocaine-fueled California lifestyle, as evidenced by this commercial cash-in oddity (possibly free with any purchase of Alka Seltzer). Does anyone out there have a digital download of Sammy warbling "Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz?" (Hold on ... just did a search, and yes, someone does have the tune in question!)

So click the LP Cover and dig Scattin' Sammy's swinging seltzer soiree!

TV's Frank Waxes On Comic-Con

2008-08-11T19:04:00.000-07:00

Writer, performer and generally genial guy Frank Conniff (late of MST3K and Sabrina the Teenage Witch) blogs about this year's Sandy Eggo Comic-Con, and mirrors my own thoughts about funny book-inspired movies and television shows. Check it out by clicking above on Frank's shiny white cowlick!

PayPal + IRS = Love!

2008-08-09T17:04:00.000-07:00

More eBay nonsense, crossed over with your tax dollars at work...click here to read all about it!

PLAN 9 FROM U.N.C.L.E.

2008-08-09T16:05:00.000-07:00

Born Under Punches

2008-07-28T07:21:00.000-07:00

Glenn Erickson, the mind and voice of DVD Savant, recently posted his thoughts at film.com on the lost art of the fight scene in modern-day movie making. I agree with most of his sentiments (while The Dark Knight has much to recommend it, the action sequences are confusing and impossible to follow - I dare anyone to keep up with the opening conflict in the parking deck upon a first viewing), and his six choices for classic movie "fights."

My addition to his list of classics comes from the obscure 1980 thriller Defiance, with Jan Michael-Vincent. I caught this at the Bright Leaf Drive-In on a double bill and recall little of the plot (something about a gang of hoods trying to drive Danny Aiello and other hapless cast members out of their apartment building), but vividly remember the climatic brutal battle between Vincent's ex-marine and the head of the gang.

My friends and myself were amazed at how "realistic" it seemed when compared to most movie fights. The two were bloodied, uncivilized, and used an array of unsporting-like and simply mean techniques as they bashed each other ... even staying entangled down a flight of stairs. To this day, I can't think of being impacted by any other filmed fight in such a manner. Highly recommended, and worth tracking down for a look (which sadly is not on DVD, but readily available via bootleg).

Live Action Big Boy

2008-07-27T17:09:00.001-07:00

Straight from the kitchens of Shoney's and the San Diego Con, I present to you ...

Steve's Back!

2008-07-21T09:24:00.000-07:00

Yay! Steve and "The Sneeze" is back after a long absence!

Click the link! Go! Read! Laugh!

Bat-Love!

2008-07-19T16:55:00.001-07:00

I fear I have long forgotten where I snagged this Silver-Age Justice League of America panel (my apologies to the online wit who discovered it first), but it is simply too funny not to share.

Be sure and click the image for maximum readability!

Winged Black Super-Hero!

2008-07-18T20:47:00.000-07:00

Mego shout out this past week in the newest episode of The Venture Bros!

Doctor Orpheus shows off his new prototype action figures for "The Order of the Triad" to his teammates Jefferson Twilight and the Alchemist. Both are suitably impressed ("Merchandising! That's where the money's at!") until being told Hasbro turned down their proposal.

Still, Jefferson is impressed with the customization work: "Did you sculpt them yourself?"

Orpheus: "Oh, heavens no! Yours is an old repainted Mego Falcon."

The Alchemist figure was, amusingly, a "Spock with a bald spot."

Bigfoot Entry of the Day

2008-07-15T13:17:00.000-07:00

I'm currently researching everyone's favorite missing link for a book project, which is leading me to some interesting articles and features that I'll be sharing in upcoming weeks. The photo below of Lee Majors in an odd-choice of porn star mustache, an obviously embarrassed Lindsay Wagoner and Ted "Lurch" Cassidy in a ratty Grizzly Adams beard and matching bearskin rug, is my quintessential memory of Bigfoot in the 1970s.

If you click the photo, it will take you to an article about not only Sasquatch, but also bionics and real-world applications! The author even name checks In Search Of ...!

Fun fact: The bionic version of 'the Foot' is what my father used to terrorize my baby sister into going to bed or otherwise behaving in the mid-seventies! Amusingly, Bigfoot went on to become an almost mythical presence -- like a furry tooth fairy or monster under the bed in our household.

A Selection of Books Finished in Recent Months

2008-07-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

Soon I Will Be Invincible
Deconstructive super-heroism as recommended by Jackson Publick (co-creator of The Venture Bros.). I ended up coming away feeling about this book the same way I did about the movie Hancock. Amazing first half that addresses tried and true super-hero material in a new way, a middling second half that loses focus and, perhaps, tries too hard to make a ‘grand statement,’ and an ending that, while still shaky, still manages to ultimately redeem the material.

The Alchemist
A fife-affirming fable about finding what you think you really want, and how to respond when you do. Recommended.

Wally’s World
Depressing biography of comic book artist Wally Wood. Overwritten in several places, but well researched and done with love. Even with several (SEVERAL) chapters devoted to comic book history and filling-in-the-blanks of the industry for non-comics readers, this remains a “for fans only” tome.

Petey
Heartbreaking young adult novel based on a true story about the relationship between a troubled teen and an elderly man suffering from cerebral palsy. This one will make you cry (I did).

Batman: Hush Returns
A poorly written and drawn collection of Batman comic book stories centering on the villain Hush and his vendetta against the Dark Knight. The Joker subplot is the only thing that makes the volume redeemable, but even that uses chunks of Alan Moore and Brian Bolland’s The Killing Joke as the basis. Everything that is "bad" about modern-day Batman comics.

Superman: Red Son Rising
Surprisingly effective Elseworlds take on the Superman saga as filtered through a Communist Russia lens.

The Boy Detective Fails
The most impressive novel I’ve read in several years. Deconstructs the notion of the “boy sleuth” by revealing his sad middle age, the fates of his foes, and the final mystery involving his mystery-solving sister. Being someone who adored the Three Investigators and Encyclopedia Brown, this book spoke to me on a series of levels.

And Then We Came To The End
An amusing and touching look at 90’s corporate America. Not as good as the hype would have you believe, but well worth reading if you have ever worked in a cube or dealt with middle-management types.

Born Standing Up
Steve Martin bears all in regards to his stand-up career, with time spent on his formative years as a child, and the rich career in movies and literature brought to him via hard work and focused applications of talent. Martin is amazing – find this in the audio book form if you can to fully appreciate how well written a bio this truly is.

DC Guide To Action Figures
Lots of photos, very little text, and a total waste of time.

Fargo Rock City
Heavy metal dreams as filtered through the twisted sensibility of the American Midwest’s own Chuck Klosterman.

Killing Yourself To Live
More Chuck Klosterman. A reflective journey across America searching out meaning from ‘death sites’ of famous musicians and how it applies to his own life.

Blink
A thought provoking look at human perception, information retrieval and retention of same … you’ll never “see” the world around you again in the same way.

I Am America (And So Can You)
Stephen Colbert and a horde of television writers bring his “message” to the masses. Amusing, but not as nearly good as The Daily Show’s take on the American History textbook America.

Freakonomics
Wonderful non-fiction that actually makes economics and numbers a viable, living presence. A book that will truly "make you think." Witty and recommended

Hey, I Wrote That!

2008-06-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

Feel the Thunder! Kung Fu Panda Coloring and Activity Books from Kappa Publishing are on sale now! Choose from three 32 page originals ("Go Po!" "Panda-Monium" and "Kung Fu Crew") with a beginning, middle and end as I wrote 'em or go for the extra value meal that mashes the trio into two new 96 page configurations with extra pages written for a fourth unpublished book. I personally recommend "Go Po!" as my favorite of the trio. Be warned that the larger books don't flow as logically as their shorter cousins and come minus the bonus goodies (tattoos, stickers and the like) found in the glossier and shorter versions.

Running Men & Promo Discs

2008-06-15T20:32:00.000-07:00

Just some interesting blog and blog entries while catching up on my reading tonight: Allison Morris on the overuse and misuse of book cover silhouettes and Ina Steiner on the latest eBay nonsense.

Lost In Hollywood

2008-05-03T18:54:00.000-07:00

So, once again, a television property is taken into the hands of what passes for creativity in Hollywood these days and given the "Superstar" treatment ... this time, via the rapidly slowing down, yet still formidable Will Farrell comedy express.

The awful I-Spy ... the wretched Wild Wild West (minus the "The" in the title of the series) ... the feh-factor of The Avengers. -- craptacular and unwatchable wastes of time that shrived up to a squeaking husk when placed next to the originals, and are best left forgotten.

Next up before the box office executioner is my beloved 1970s childhood friend, Land of the Lost ... which, despite the under budgeted special effects and wince-inducing acting, was never designed as a show "for kids." With science fiction writers like David Gerrold and D.C. Fontana on board, the series was heady stuff with a detailed mythology and logic that crushed the rest of the sci-fi and fantasy live-action tripe hoisted on the Saturday-Morning set (Jason of Star Command, anyone? Ark II?).

Of course, the folks in charge of this movie remake seem to think they are making a comedy. Even the director says, "There is a sense of humor that I loved from the original show ..."

Are we talking about the same series? All our director is recalling are the surface details of a show with no budget shot under the time constrictions of kid-vid. There is no recognition of actually having watched the series. Frankly, smirking at shitty blue-screen work doesn't take a lot of wit.

Land of the Lost wasn't Electra Woman and Dyna Girl, Dr. Shinker or Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, okay? The show was played earnestly and straight ... not campy and stupid. Remaking LOTL as a comedy makes about as much sense has giving us a deadly serious Get Smart (a TV remake that actually looks watchable, since the powers-that-be appear to be adhering to the spirit of the show).

Unfortunately, this is one movie remake that is actually being made ... unlike the never-produced Jim Carrey yuk-fest of The Six Million Dollar Man (shudders). And, since we don't want Will Ferrell as a daddy, we get him hamming it up with a stand-up comedian and a hot babe instead of a son and daughter.

Jesus God. Didn't Bewitched teach Ferrell anything?

Still, they got one thing right ... check out the Sleestak!

Welcome To The Grid

2008-05-01T06:45:00.001-07:00

Has your Internet been running slow as of recent ...? Click the graphic to learn about what might speed things along in the near future.

(Somehow, I sense my future is going to be spent buying new computer equipment and paying higher prices for faster connections ...).

Night of the Lepus

2008-04-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

My niece and nephew enjoy a recent visit with the Easter Bunny ....

Cool Books You Won't Find At Wal-Mart #1

2008-04-09T18:36:00.000-07:00

'Life Of The Party'
A Visual History of S.S. Adams
Makers of Pranks & Magic For 100 Years

And here, I present to you a pop culture tome of essential reading fun for kids of all ages.

Here are all of the mondo-keen goodies from the back pages of the comics of our pasts ... goodies that we either sent away for and were disappointed with upon arrival ... or wish we had sent away for, never did, and were still disappointed over, because we always wondered what we had missed!

Featured in full color are the actual items themselves, as gazed upon in dime stores and truck stops by a multitude of children. Gags, jokes, tricks and novelities .., along with rarities, original store branding and ads, letters, trivia, company history and much much more.

Hardcover, 200 pages, and oversized at a generous 9" by 12" ... just from the sample pages alone, this is a sumptous treat that will bring back a calvacade of memories. Author Kirk Demarais http://www.secretfunspot.com/ has created an amazing piece of printed shared memory.

Why such an undertaking of love seems to be a well-kept secret is beyond me, but I am delighted to have discovered it all the same.

Click on the GLOP to be swept away to where you can order a copy!

Soylent Green Is Made Out Of Heston ...

2008-04-06T07:16:00.000-07:00

I have a love/hate relationship with Big Chuck ... his politics in recent decades were appalling, but I loved watching him gnash his teeth in Planet of the Apes, Soylent Green and that eternal touchstone of my youthful CBS Late Night Movie viewing days, The Omega Man.

Don't forget, Charlton Heston is also the guy who gave Orson Welles his last chance to make a Hollywood financed movie resulting in the late noir masterpiece Touch of Evil, feuded with, and yet backed Sam Peckinpah against the studio in regards to Major Dundee and was still gracious enough in his declining health to give an interview to Michael Moore in Bowling For Columbine that was as uncomfortable to watch as you might imagine (and I like Moore).

So, like I say ... love/hate. The thing to remember, as always, is to reflect upon and relish the work and not the actor (or writer, or director).

Horrible way for such a virile actor to die however, that's for damn sure.

Whoopie Once! Whoopie Twice!

2008-04-03T07:41:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm flashing back to 1975.

I was eight years old, and if memory serves, was exposed to the animated "Really Rosie" as a syndicated special. The half hour video adapted the poetry and artwork of Maurice Sendak, best known then and now for Where The Wild Things Are. In less than 30 minutes, a short series of books called The Nutshell Library was set to music and performed by the legendary Carole King.

For decades afterwards, songs such as "One Was Johnny" and Chicken Soup With Rice," were lodged in my head.

Flash forward to last year on a trip to Massachusetts, when I was able to pick up a copy of the special on VHS in a used book store. Said video was filed away, with my thinking I would enjoy it again when the time was right.

Today, the time was right. I had a half-hour hole in my lesson plan on poetry, so I screened the video for my eighth grade middle school classes (I teach English, by the way) to reinforce the concepts of alliteration and rhyme.

I wasn't sure the admittedly dated animation would hold some of the attention of today's kids ... but, amazingly enough, all of my blocks were well-behaved, and seemed to really enjoy the special! There was no sleeping, and talking was non-existant. A pleasant surprise, and one that helped me to remember that even today's jaded teens are still children in so many ways....

Don't Make Me Angry ....

2008-03-28T19:15:00.000-07:00

Having watched every single one of these episodes as a kid during the original run of the series, I remember thinking that David Banner was the clumsiest man I'd ever seen on television. I mean, the character of Banner made Soupy Sales look like the epitome of grace ... but the Soupster never uttered lines such as "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAN!" with anything close to the gusto of Bill Bixby.

So, click ol' Greenskin to enjoy a list of every single indignity suffered by Dr. David Banner that caused him to slip in a pair of white contact lenses, shred his shirt, and "Hulk Out."

A Carton of Hate & A Wedge of Spite

2008-02-21T05:40:00.000-08:00

I have to confess that I have eased off the throttle of the collecting train in recent years, but at times there are toys that demand to be purchased and enjoyed.

Case in point, these wonderful replicas of Evan Dorkin's mayhem loving dairy products, Milk and Cheese.

They are the perfect additions to my custom M&C color illustration where they burn down my beloved Mayberry and urinate on the grave of Otis Campbell. One of these days, I'll get a good color scan of said scene (obtained in a Fisher-Price Ferris Wheel toy-trade with Evan years ago) and slap it up for all to enjoy, but for now use your imagination.

As far as I know, I actually have all of the M&C merchandise (what little there is), such as the figural magnet, the magnet set and the trading cards.

As for the Milk and Cheese Vinyl Figures set, see the photo below. These retail for $69.99 off the Slave Labor website, but can be found for $20.00 less on eBay (which is where I got mine).

Morning Haiku

2008-02-20T07:35:00.000-08:00

Friday Morning, February 15

Bitter cold morning
The dawn sky is pink coral
Frost adorns the world